Heard that they said that it's rainin men
  But the offer that I make, it won't be made again
  You don't have to write, you don't have to call
  It's a one-time offer for nothing at all
    And there's no red tape, I don't make it hard
  You don't need cash money or a Master Card
  I got easy terms, and a lay-away
  But I need a quick decision, and I need it today
    And if you find that you don't like my ways
  Well, you can send me back in 30 days
    Now have you ever seen a man with a guarantee?
  Well you're lookin at him now, cause the man is me
  And if you don't believe all the things I say
  I'm certified 'prime' by the USDA
    Now the name that I use is DJ Run
  And I'm a fast-talkin slow-walkin number one
  And if you don't believe all the words I say
  Then you're a natural born fool who's got to be that way
    I got a 50 rating and a 50 share
  Every minute, every hour that I'm on the air
  And when I come to town, I'm on a big marquee
  It says (DJ Run) and me, D.M.C.
    And if you find that you don't like my ways
  Well, you can send me back in 30 days
    A good job and lots of money might not be enough
  And to satisfy your needs it may be rough
  But I take some care and treat you nice
  And if it ain't sufficient once, I cold work it out twice
    And if you find that you don't like my ways
  Well, you can send me back in 30 days
    I'm gonna give you everything that you ever need
  If you need a pint of blood, then I'll even bleed
  If you're lookin for a car, I will buy you two
  And if you're lookin for a pet, I'll buy a kangaroo
    If you need a vacation, we can fly the world
  And you'll know I'll never look at another girl
  I'm a single-minded man, and my mind is set
  You're the lady of the '80s that I'm gonna get
    And if you find you don't like my ways
  Well, you can send me back in 30 days