[Originally By Paul Simon]
    A man walks down the street
  He says why am I soft in the middle now
  Why am I soft in the middle
  The rest of my life is so hard
  I need a photo-opportunity
  I want a shot at redemption
  Don't want to end up a cartoon
  In a cartoon graveyard
  Bonedigger Bonedigger
  Dogs in the moonlight
  Far away my well-lit door
  Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
  Get these mutts away from me
  You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
  If you'll be my bodyguard
  I can be your long lost pal
  I can call you Betty
  And Betty when you call me
  You call me Al
  A man walks down the street
  He says why am I short of attention
  Got a short little span of attention
  And wo my nights are so long
  Where's my wife and family
  What if I die here
  Who'll be my role-model
  Now that my role-model is
  Gone Gone
  He ducked back down the alley
  With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
  All along along
  There were incidents and accidents
  There were hints and allegations
  If you'll be my bodyguard
  I can be your long lost pal
  I can call you Betty
  And Betty when you call me
  You call me Al
  Call me Al
  A man walks down the street
  It's a street in a strange world
  Maybe it's the Third World
  Maybe it's his first time around
  He doesn't speak the language
  He holds no currency
  He is a foreign man
  He is surrounded by the sound
  The sound
  Cattle in the marketplace
  Scatterlings and orphanages
  He looks around, around
  He sees angels in the architecture
  Spinning in infinity
  He says Amen! and Hallelujah!
  If you'll be my bodyguard
  I can be your long lost pal
  I can call you Betty
  And Betty when you call me
  You call me Al
  Call me Al